Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Night Terrors and Waffles

School transitions have continued to be H.A.R.D.  Elliot just does not like to separate.  Mornings are full of great big sobs, loud heartbreaking screams, and lots of begging for me to either stay with him or take him home.  He really, really likes it better when he is home with both of his mummas.  And he is so smart and thoughtful that even when we are at home he talks mostly about either going away to school or mummas going away to work.  He talks about and thinks about separation almost all of the time.  It breaks my heart to think that he is so stressed out.  It does help a lot that we love his teachers and that we know he settles into his days at school pretty well, but clearly he is a changed child now that we have introduced this concept of separation from his familiar world.  
And then he had another night terror.  It has been a year or so since his last one.  And it is absolutely terrifying, not to mention exhausting.  He woke up in the middle of the night in a freaked out rage, with eyes that looked more goat-like than human-like, and he yelled and screamed and hit and kicked and demanded waffles.  Yes, waffles.  The last time he demanded food in the middle of his night terror, too.  But this time we had just been talking about waffles in the evening before bed, so that idea was still on the tip of his consciousness.  It all made perfect sense and no sense at the same time.  
Luckily, the next day was a stay-at-home day.  One that was very, very clingy.  And very slow and sleepy.  One that involved going to the store first thing in the morning for a waffle maker and making big platefuls of fluffy homemade whole wheat waffles.  With lots of maple syrup.  We spent the morning filling our bellies and calming our minds.  We spent a long day just being together.  This mumma tried to take a big, deep breath and wrap her little one up with as much love and strength as I could.  Knowing all along that the next day was another school day, but that on this day we got to stay home together and eat waffles.  

Sunday, November 6, 2011

'Cool Days

A few weeks ago Elliot transitioned from home-care with Kelly to group-care in the childcare center at my work.  To help ease this transition (maybe more for me, than for him), I made Elliot a new nap blanket (he picked out the robot fleece and the matching blue backing himself!) and a little backpack to carry his things in each day.  It felt really good to sew these mumma-made things to help us talk about school in the few days leading up to his first day, and it felt even better to say goodbye to him each morning knowing that he would literally be wrapped up in my love during his day.  Even with these extra things, the transition was/is still very hard.  The tears have lessened (both his and mine), and he's more willing to separate from me and go to the comfort of his teachers each morning.  But it is so very, very clear that Elliot loves his "stay at home days" way more than he likes his " 'cool days."  And, quite honestly, so do I.